needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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