you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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