He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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