There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Terrible idea I love it
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
