i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
