Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
