He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
