My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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