Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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