Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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