she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
