He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I love you.
Bad choice
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
