I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
