I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
