i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
