you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
