Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
