My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
