It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
