the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
