WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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