also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
