I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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