Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
