I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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