there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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