i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How's work?
Spinning.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
