Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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