Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
