I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
