when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
