Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the condom got lost in my hair
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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