this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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