awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
