is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
