I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
