Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
