distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
