And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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