I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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