I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
