We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
