I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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