There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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