There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
