we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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