at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
