where am i from again
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
