Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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