So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
