I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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